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Well, as you could probably tell, my choices for a title were getting slim. That was taken off my scotch tape dispenser. Today had some ups and downs. On the upside, on of my classes is finished. That means only 2 more days of classes for me. Yeah, that's right, I may not have exams, but I still need to do stuff during exam week. I will be done a week from today. And now for the downside. I had acting class today which both terrifies and exhausts me. I work really hard in that class; I think it's the hardest I've worked in a class format simply because I'm not an actor. I never really claim to be, unless I'm joking. I'm a self-proclaimed background person, and I'm ever so happy to be so. So, when asked to do different acting techniques, it's a real struggle for me, and I try my best. It's hard though, when I get conflicting reports. On one hand, I'm told to get an activity that's meaningful for me. Then, when I focus on that, I get told to focus on my partner. Well, if one wants to be truly focused, I have to abandon one. I also get told I'm too intellectual and I need to change that. Not a problem, I can understand that (I don't know when I'm being intellectual, and sometimes when I'm not, I get told I am.) However, my partner was told that he was thinking, and he was told, "but that's alright". I don't get that. Alright for him, but not for me? One more rant, then I'll be done with that, I promise. At first my activity was studying for an exam. A big deal for me because I've worked hard, and in this institution, the grades I get is what proves my hard work. When I explained this activity, and why it was so meaningful, the response was, "that's sad". I held my tongue, because I didn't want to be disrespectful, but what the crap?! How dare someone say that my goals, my desire is 'sad'? I lost a lot of respect. Especially since in order to advance to a higher level in the drama program, I need to get the good grades. Ug, so frustrating to me. As I walked home, I contemplated what I really was doing in the drama program, and if it's really what I want to do. I know I don't want to act, but I do like doing the other stuff, so maybe I should just tough it out. What do you think?
posted by Kim @ 11:12 PM
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